Saturday, January 1, 2011

Year of the Super-Villain

It's a new year: 2011. The beginning of January is the time for making resolutions. Lazy people resolve to get more exercise. Fat people resolve to lose weight. Smokers resolve to quit. Personally, I've never seen the value in making resolutions at all. While the beginning of January may be the time for making them, the end of January is the time for them to be forgotten or abandoned.

Now isn't that the sad thing about the human race? They are so lacking in will power and (as it is the best word for this situation) resolve. The attention span of a human is pathetic. Sure, you might tell yourself that you plan on losing 2 pounds a week, eating healthier, and giving up those nasty cigarettes, but in the end, it's going to be too much work, too boring, or simply something will distract you from your goals.

The only way to avoid failing with your New Years resolutions is to not set any goals at all. I never make New Years resolutions. I simply wait for opportunities to arise and then act on them. For example, I could have resolved to make more money this year, but that involves putting forth an effort. However, this morning, when I saw a man withdraw $500 from the bank, I simply took advantage of the opportunity and mugged him. So much simpler to just rely on opportunity.

Looking back, though, on the year that I had in 2010, I do see areas for improvement. Taking up blogging has been a good start, as is facebook, but I still need to figure out ways to enhance my super-villainous magnitude. What good is it being the bad guy if no one acknowledges your acts of malice? I'm thinking I may have to undertake something much grander than anything I've done in the past... something that will truly capture the attention of the world. Time to put the plotting part of my brain to work. 2011 will be a year of evil and villainy.

1 comment:

  1. Ha! You call yourself a super villain, yet you resort to lowly muggings! Pathetic!

    This blog HAS given a glimpse to what you truly are, Hogman! Nothing to be feared!